American television broadcasters are causing people to turn to alcoholism as a form of self-medication against boredom.   There just isn't anything to watch.   That's true regardless of any ongoing writers' strike.   The networks are beginning to scream uncle.   Ratings are in the toilet.   NBC has been forced to give advertisers their money back.   But there is positive news on the horizon as the network plans to roll out some sure fire hit programming including:

• Law & Order: Criminal Negligence,
  
• Law & Order: Civil Procedures,
  
• Law & Order: Constitutional Issues,
  
• Law & Order: Petty Larceny, and
  
• Law & Order: Insanity Defense.

They'll also take a look at some promising "new" pilots for possible series development including:

• Rocky: The TV Show - features an over the hill, out of work actor (played by Sylvester Stallone) who befriends sports stars, especially boxers, as well as politicians and other notables;
  
• Little Ed - a comedy about a guy who is the only one who can hear his dog, named Ed, talk;
  
• The Spartridge Family - a family of young female rock musicians from Louisiana who travel the country in a hybrid SUV painted all sorts of psychedelic colors, whiule wearing sexy undergarments in all sorts of inappropriate circumstances;
  
• My Favorite Taliban - Story of a Saudi man who escapes from Guantanamo Bay detention center and lives among us while holding down a job manicuring the lawns of suburbanites who adore him;
  
• Green And Growing - the adventures of a hippy-like band of pagan youngsters who find time to befriend the wildlife while sharing space at their vegan utopian organic farm home in the Montana wilderness; and
  
• Tales of Greed - a quasi news program featuring confrontation between a cadre of journalists who try to get the biggest energy hogs they can find to understand what they are doing to the planet.

Additionally, NBC will attempt to expand its newscasts to appeal to a younger audience by focusing on issues college kids think are important like global warming, freedom from religion, and the rights of illegal immigrants.   Shows such as Today will attempt to Jazz things up more by making Matt Lauer look intelligent as often as possible and having him do more episodes such as Where in the world .. but have these locations be selected from superfund sites and other places of environmental catastrophe.

Finally, the network plans to look into the possibility of producing a show in-house similar to "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" but with an emphasis on using GE products to create an energy-efficient, carbon neutral abode.   They are looking into the possibility of having Discover Channel's Mike Rowe MC the show.

Labels: Media