I own up to being a conservative most of the time. Sometimes I can more appropriately be characterized as being a moderate. I offer apologies to Rush Limbaugh and similarly minded people over acting as a political moderate but I have often been told that Truth is generally not found at the polar ends of the spectrum. The middle road is often not so much of a compromise as it is an acknowledgement that extremes are often both wrong. What I'm trying to do here is set the table for an admission. I've already owned up to the fact that while I am mostly politically conservative, I dislike country music and I am not a religious fundamentalist. Now I must confess the ultimate sin, I do not own an SUV! Not only that I dislike SUVs and often dislike their drivers.

Let me explain why I dislike SUVs and their drivers so much before you draw incorrect conclusions.

Do I dislike oversized cars because they are singularly responsible for driving gas prices up? Maybe - but it is a free country and gas prices are determined by the free market. If I choose to drive a smaller, more fuel-efficient car, I pay less at the pump than that guy over there in a Hummer. Maybe he can afford the price of gas. His car sure cost plenty. But I hold no animosity against anyone because they have more money than I do.

Do I dislike oversized cars because I cannot see over or around them when I want to pass their sorry, slow butts on the highway? Yes. I do dislike them for this but most of the time it doesn't cause too much stress as I seldom drive the freeways. I think, at this point in the SUV history, many of those who regularly drive the freeways during their daily commutes operate SUVs as a defense mechanism. I know I would not drive a moped to anyplace where I hade to drive amongst tractor trailers moving at 70 mph. That may be extreme but I think most people drive these creatures just to be able to feel safer than they would be when their line of sight just lines up with the SUV in front of them's tailpipe. But that isn't my gripe.

A few folks with whom I have spoken claim that the SUV is still some sort of status symbol but I disagree. You can get one new for under 20 grand and if you stoop to buying a "pre-owned" model, you can do far better than that. So when some guy drives into the Seven Eleven in an SUV, my first thought is not, "hey this guy's got money." Even middle class kids with no money drive these boats.

The real reason I dislike SUVs has more to do with where I live. I live in an area which seldom gets any large volume of really bad weather. Also, being relatively close to Manhattan, there are tons of train tracks on my usual routes to most places. What absolutely pisses me off is when I drive behind a caravan of SUVs, we inevitably get seriously backed up at train tracks. This is because the drivers of SUVs, unlike those professionals who drive in the TV commercials, tend to gingerly inch their ways over the tracks so as not to be shooken or stirred too much. I, with my low-to-the-groud standard sedan typically never change speed at train tracks. The typical experience goes smething like ba-bump and not even my coffee spills.

So what's up with the SUV driver? Is he or she causing gas prices to go up? Yes. Artificially? No. Is he or she an unsafe driver? Sometimes, but no more often than most other drivers. Does his or her vehicle make it unsafe for me to drive? Probably. Is it that I envy his or her extreme wealth? Nah. Is it because most people who drive these flaming things are total wimp bags who can't get out of my bleeping way? Absolutely!